joke thread

[OldYJ]

:brows:

 a few rules,yea RIGHT

Construction worker on the 5th floor of a building needed a handsaw. So he spots another worker on the ground floor and yells down to him, but he can't hear him. So the worker on the 5th floor tries sign language. He pointed to his eye meaning "I", pointed to his knee meaning "need", then moved his hand back and forth in a hand saw motion. The man on the ground floor nods his head, pulls down his pants, whips out his chop and starts masturbating. The worker on 5th floor gets so pissed off he runs down to the ground floor and says, "What the fuck is your problem!!! I said I needed a hand saw!". The other guy says, "I knew that! I was just trying to tell you - I'm coming!"

[OldYJ]

An alien walks into a bar and sits next to a drunk guy and begins poking him in the shoulder.

The drunk guy just ignores him.

After a wile the guy turns to the alien and begins looking him up and down.

He notices that the alien has no genitalia.

He then asks "You guys have no genitalia, how do you guy have sex?"

The alien, still poking him in the arm, just smiles!

[TJODD]

An Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand and pulling a male buffalo with the other.

He says to the waiter, "Want coffee."

The waiter says, "Sure, Chief, coming right up." He gets the Indian a tall mug of coffee.
The Indian drinks the coffee down in one gulp, turns and blasts the buffalo with the shotgun, causing parts of the animal to splatter every where, then just walks out.

The next morning the Indian returns.
He has his shotgun in one hand and pulling another male buffalo with the other.

He walks up to the counter and says to the waiter, "Want coffee."

The waiter says, "Whoa, Tonto! We're still cleaning up your mess from yesterday.
What was all that about, anyway?"
The Indian smiles and proudly says...
"Training for upper management position in United States Government:
Come in, drink coffee, shoot the bull, leave mess for others to clean up, disappear for rest of day."

[nuch]

So this blonde gets a job on an assembly line at a Tickle Me Elmo factory.  After a few hours, the foreman gets called to her spot at the end of the line.  He sees hundreds of the dolls stacked up and the blonde with a pile of cloth and marbles frantically sewing on a doll.  The foreman looks closer and then doubles over in laughter.  He says, "I told you your job was to give each doll two TEST-TICKLES, not testicles."

[Bradman]

Two men and one woman were stranded on a desert island.  After some time time had passed, nature took over, and the woman eventualy starting haveing sex with the men.  Soon, she started to feel real guilty about what she was doing, and killed herself.

Well, the men were very lonely, and well, things started happening, but, after a short time the men really started feel guilty about what they were doing..........................................

So they burried Her!!!!!!!