Men Are Just Happier People--
What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name
stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of
themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You
can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You
can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The
world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station
restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and
think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. The
occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't
cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff
about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can
open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of
thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still
be
your friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of
shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in
public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on
your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years,
maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck. You can
play
with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One
wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do"
your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning
growing a mustache..
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in
25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier.
