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JOKE THREAD. If easily offended do not view this thread.

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OldYJ:
An old prospector walks his tired old mule into this western town one  day.
He'd been out in the desert for about six months without a drop of  whiskey .
He walked up to the first saloon he came to and tied his old mule  to the
hitch rail .  As he stood there brushing some of the dust from  his face and
clothes, a gunslinger walked out of the saloon. He had a gun in  one hand

and a bottle of whiskey in the other hand he looked at the old man  and laughed .
Then he said "Hey old man have you ever danced?"
 
The old man looked up at him and said "No, I never did dance, I just never did want to."
 
A crowd had gathered by then and the gunslinger said "Well you old  fool
you're gonna dance now."  And he started shooting at the old man's  feet. The
old man was hopping around and every body was laughing. He fired  his last
bullet then holstered his gun and he turned around to go back into  the saloon.
 
The old man reached up on the mule got his shotgun and pulled the  hammers
back making a clicking sound. The gunslinger heard this and everything got
quiet. He turned around and was looking at both barrels aimed at  him.
The old man asked him " Did you ever kiss a mule right on the BUTT?"
 
The gunslinger swallowed hard and said "No, but I've always wanted  to."

thanks to CPJ for this one

LibertyPatriot:
Okay,

A guy walks into a bar

cpj:
Subject: The Outhouse


Ma was in the kitchen fiddling around when she hollers out...."Pa! You need to go out and fix the outhouse!"
Pa replies, "There ain't nuthin wrong with the outhouse."
Ma yells back, "Yes there is, now git out there and fix it."
So......Pa mosies out to the outhouse, looks around and yells back, "Ma!
There ain't nuthin wrong with the outhouse!"
Ma replies, "Stick yur head in the hole!"
Pa yells back, "I ain't stickin my head in that hole!"
Ma says, "Ya have to stick yur head in the hole to see what to fix."
So with that, Pa sticks his head in the hole, looks around and yells back, "Ma! There ain't nuthin wrong with this outhouse!"

Ma hollers back, "Now take your head out of the hole!"
Pa proceeds to pull his head out of the hole, then starts yelling, "Ma! Help! My beard is stuck in the cracks in the toilet seat!"

To which Ma replies, "Hurt's, don't it ?!"

farmboy:
Sexual Olympics  
 
  A man went over to his girl's place for a little bit of nookie between the sheets. He presented her with three choices of condom -- gold, silver, or bronze.
"Silver," she said.

"Why not gold?"

"Because I want you to come second for once!"

farmboy:
Sunday School  
 
  Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, ''Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?'' When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. ''God Almighty !'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good'' and Mary fell back to sleep.

A while later the teacher asked Mary, ''Who is our Lord and Savior?'' But Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. ''Jesus Christ!'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good,'' and Mary fell back to sleep. Then the teacher asked Mary a third question, ''What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?'' And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, ''If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!'' The Teacher fainted.

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